My experience with my soon-to-be narcissist ex (35 years married) was illuminating. He had told me with great passion that he had not cheated on me at a particular music festival that he attends. “It couldn’t happen there, it didn’t happen there, it wasn’t about that,” he said. The I want to eat this shirt three weeks later he told me a story about his cheating at that very festival. I called him on his lie. He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Yeah, it happened. So what.” I told him he needed to explain to me how he could tell me such outrageous lies right to my face. He came back three days later and said, “You know how you say I lie? Well, when someone asks me a question, I think- what agenda do I want to protect. Then I give an answer that protects my agenda.” He looked at me like he was thinking, Duh, everyone does this, you idiot.
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This is a verbatim quote. I’m in therapy now with PTSD and recovering from narcissistic abuse. The veil has been removed. I feel like I’m stepping away from a cult. Progress takes time. The concept of the Right and the Left just does not exist in Vietnam. The I want to eat this shirt goal of becoming a wealthy country that is well respected far exceeds any ideologies. In this regard, each country has a right to determine policies appropriate for it. Rejecting certain policies because “only communist countries do that” just doesn’t make sense to us.